C：Hi,Muriel.Put it here on the coffee table.（Muriel does as she is told.）
M：Miss Carole,I hope you remember I told you I'd be gone this morning.
C：Oh,yes,I'd forgotten.What time will you be back,Muriel？
M：Oh,I'll be back in time to fix dinner.
R：is this your day off,Muriel？
M：No,Mr.Randy.I'm going to Mr.Woodrow's funeral.（There is a slight air of superiority about her now.Randy and Carole look at her with sudden surprise.）
R：Oh… is that right？
M：And after the funeral,Mrs.Woodrow has asked me to join the family at their home.
C：Muriel,you didn't tell me！
R：Uh… were you a friend of Scotty,Muriel？
M：My mother worked for him when he was starting out in the business.I was born in Mr.Woodrow's beach house, before he bought that big house up in the canyon.（she has thus established herself as near-royalty to Randy and Carole.）
M：Oh,yes.Mr.Woodrow was very good to me when I was a child.Mama worked for him until she died.I could have stayed on,but after Mr.Woodrow got married the last time,she hired a lot of French servants I didn't get on with,at all.But they went right on sending me Christmas cards every year.
R：Uh… Muriel,do you have a ride to the funeral？
M：No,Mr.Brooks.Mrs.Woodrow's secretary said I could bring my family,but now that Vincent has left me and taken the car,I'll have to take a taxi.
R：Gee… that's too bad.
C：（thinking.） Yes.Isn't it？
M：（Starts for the door.） Well,I have to be getting ready now.I got a new black dress to wear.All the big names in Hollywood will be there.I want to look my best.
R：（Holding her.） Uh… Muriel,you don't want to go to the services all alone！
M：Oh,I don't mind.
C：Look,Muriel,why don't we all go together？I mean… well,of course,Randy and I are invited,too,but we'd be glad to go along with you…as your family,you know.Well,after all,you're one of us,Muriel
M：（Appears to examine the idea.） All of us go together,huh？
R：I'll drive us all there in the Cadillac.
M：（This idea appeals to her.） Oh… that'd be nice.
C：And then after funeral,we'll take you to the house.
M：（without sarcasm.） I see.
R：And you won't have to worry about coming back to fix dinner.
C：Of course not.
M：Well,it suits me.I didn't want to have to call a taxi.If you folks want to come along,fine and dandy.You'll have to pardon me now.I have to get into my new black dress.
R：We'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes,Muriel.（Muriel exits.Carole and Randy both jump into action,getting their clothes out of their respective closets.）
C：I told you we'd find a way.
R：Yah.（Taking a suit from closet.）Say,this suit could stand a pressing.Do I have to wear black？
C：Of course,honey.After all,it's a very solemn occasion.
C：I'll have to call Sandra.（She picks up the telephone and dials.）
R：it's going to look all right,isn't it？I mean,our going with Muriel.
C：Of course.You don't worry about things like that at a funeral.（Into the telephone.）Sandra？Carole,Darling,I'm awfully sorry but Randy and I won't be able to come to your house after the funeral…well,you see,we have a duty to Muriel,our cook.She's the daughter of Scotty's old Housekeeper…yes,Scotty practically raised her.And we feel that we should take her with us,and then,of course,we'll have to go to the home afterwards.Just family and a few of his ery closest friends.We can't get our of it…you'll forgive us,won't you,darling？Oh,it's all going to be terribly sad.
R：（To himself,while dressing.）I guess it'll look all right.After all,funerals are very democratic affairs.